esfilmingit Mrs Stater itstarts witur fanny bein touched fordafirst time.

He's started filming it, Mrs Stater.  They're working in a barn place on The Ross of Mull.

Apparently the girl playing you at 19, Mrs Stater, has just left Suckie High and she's got you down to a T, especially the voice and the facial mannerisms.

In the opening sequence,  you are a 19 year-old student, Mrs Stater.  You've got on black cord jeans and a blue paisley pattern blouse with a butterfly collar.

You've got on black platform shoes with an ankle strap and smoked spice tights.

You've got on a silver St Christopher pendant.

Your hair is beautifully pageboyed.

You look so young, Mrs Stater, and so petite, at size 12.

'Layla' is on the juke-box, just finishing and he's putting in money and soon it will be 'Listen to the Music' and 'Sweet Caroline'.

He's got long, feather-cut hair and he's wearing a black velvet jacket, black shirt, flared yellow trousers and black platform shoes, Mrs Stater.

You're in a closed-for-the-afternoon student bar place with red bench seats.  The wooden bar shutters are down.  There's just the two of you.  You've still got drinks on the table and you're drinking your half-pint of Tennent's lager and he's got his pint of McEwan's Export.

When he gets back and sits next to you, just as The Doobie Brothers comes on, you snuggle up to him, throw your arms around his neck and get snogging.

Very soon he moves his hand on to your blouse buttons, then....

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